Constant Struggle

Although we all go through our own struggles and have our own difficulties with life, I have to say, when you have a lack of belief and your spouse has a belief, struggles seem to come more frequently. I say this because it is difficult to not fight with my wife when something comes up that either of us may not agree with. She believes a sky god has blessed her or has punished her. I tend to think it is more or less the effort put into something by our own hand. We are the creators of our own destiny. I have the hardest time sitting there while something "majestic" is happening to my little family and giving the sky god all the credit. How can one believe in Jesus when most cultures have a version of their own that predate Christianity by a long shot?

I don't know where to turn to except the internet where people are going through what I am. How can you successfully raise children in a god fearing environment when you know it is all bullshit? Let's think about this for a minute. A story was told to me recently with my wife that she heard from someone else. She took it to heart because she could put herself and our daughter in the same shoes the story mentioned. To paraphrase, a woman has her first child and constantly is fighting to make everything perfect with that child. Always cautions her daughter to not get dirty or to be careful when playing so she didn't get hurt. She expected perfection. Eventually she grows up and has nervous breakdowns because she is not able to show perfection in all aspects of her life. She is always afraid of what her mother would think if she failed. At this point she has ruined her life and squashed all form of normality. My wife took it to heart because she feels she has done this to our daughter. I likened religion to this analogy and there are far more details to that story that I did not endulge in. If you raise a child into a belief that if you aren't doing good all of the time eventually they break down because the torment of God's wrath is upon them, you've messed them up. Moral code is not dictated from religion. Religion's moral code is to own slaves, beat your children until they obey, human sacrifice, kill your opposition, etc. eventually religion accepts what good moral code comes up from advances in science and claims it has always believed that. That is insane and therefore needs to be stopped. Wake up people! Think about what you are supporting when you sit in the pew at church or what you are giving your money to. The churches that are out there are preying on your money by threatening something you cannot see, taste, touch or feel. It is absurd! 

No matter how sacrilegious one might think this grumpy cat illustration is, I look at it as I would look at any religion. Any threat or justification can be looked at objectively and therefore squashed. They have no power over you if you do not allow them to. They only have power on you if you let them. Life is too fragile and too short to fear the sky gods. Build your own moral code and add upon it. As long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else, go for it. 

Done with my last rant...

Okay, so I am done with my last rant and now trying to move on. I look back now and realize that maybe a few would be offended by it. I am not sorry for being offensive in that, my blog is for my thoughts and I intend to keep it that way. I do apologize if you do feel that I have gone against your beliefs because that is not my intention. I feel everyone should have their own right to believe what they want. I do not believe anyone should push their beliefs on another individual. This only causes contention and therefore makes any kind of relationship turn into a disastrous one. I for one am not the individual who likes to loathe on negative thoughts or negative feelings. I try to look at the glass half full. If you are reading this and have had offense for the reason I have described, I am sorry, if you have offense for me expressing my thoughts and feelings for the last few months, I'm not sure what to tell you. As I said, I have not intended that to happen. Okay, now that I have that off my chest, I can move into more thoughts and feelings that I have now. By the way, I was not trying to say I am the devil, I was trying to take a perspective most may not think about, but would put God into the author of those. Why not look at something or someone for what or who they are, and not merely a reflection of your spiritual belief? You got the job because someone decided you were the best candidate, not because God zapped the interviewer in the butt with your name branded on it. I don't mean that in the wrong way, just trying to get a point out.

Today, 6 years ago, I took the plunge and married my best friend. It was a great day for us. We really felt close to each other. I will be the first to say that I may have not been really ready for marriage, but who is? No one can really gauge what will lie ahead. This is what marriage is all about, taking that road and travelling it together. No matter what is in store, you have each other. My wife and I have officially been together for 10 years. We had our first date when we were Juniors in high school and from then on out we had been on and off until we decided to marry. One of the best decisions I made was to ask her on that first date. It has brought us to this point in our lives together and we remain strong because of it. She really is an amazing person. Where we go from here is our decision and our decision alone. I look back at the day when we were married in the Salt Lake Temple and I do not regret doing so, it was a great day. I take it for what it was, the beginning of our lives together as one. I can honestly say when we kneeled across the alter, I didn't get the amazing feeling I wanted, but I did know I was making a great decision. It wasn't until we were heading to New York, to catch a cruise ship, that I looked down at my now wife and realized that I loved her. That was the moment I knew I wanted to be with her. Not the moment we were going through the temple. Our marriage and relationship meant more to me than the temple. I know it is difficult for those of you that are still strong mormons to understand that. I choose her over the church, and I always have. The church may have issues with me, but I can assure you that those issues do not stretch to my relationship with my wife. If it would have, we wouldn't be together now, after publicly being done with the LDS church. 

I feel like I may be coming off on the wrong foot again and maybe playing the defensive. I don't mean to do that. I want to relay my feelings of gratitude and peace by not having to believe what the church dictates and teaches. I came across a great blog today that really sums up what we should be feeling in any good experience. Church is not that good experience we all should be searching for. It is the relationships we have with others and the rich dialogue we have with them. We are human, and humans succeed better when we work together. Hence why we have progressed in ways unimaginable hundreds of years ago. I look at the world today and I don't see a world that is getting worse, I see a world that is literally getting better as we speak. Think about it, the dictator from Egypt, gone. The dictator from North Korea, dead. How about Iraq? Afghanistan is still a work in progress. Either way you look at it, the information era is freeing individuals minds from oppressors and dictators alike. The more we know, the more free we become to act for ourselves. Twitter and Facebook have unlocked doors in the communication world unlike any other. I can get real information the second it happens from twitter and I can know what my friends are enjoying when they want to share it. It really is remarkable that we humans can do this. WE did this. In the blog he describes his transformation from strong mormon to atheist and I think it sums up well with what he said, "I came to realize that I had no belief in God. Upon serious introspection into my thoughts and beliefs and values, I came to this realization: I don't believe. I don't believe in anything without good evidence. I had broken the narrative. I had had an epiphany, and it wasn't that I needed to go back to church, but that I was completely lacking in spiritual belief. The strange part was that I had always been taught that I needed faith to be happy, so why did I feel so good?"    Why does it feel so good? I believe it does because the individual realizes then that no one can make their decisions for them. They become rulers of their own lives and therefore do not blame the devil and/or God for good or bad things that are happening. They live up to their own choices and look to them as the decisions that shape their lives here and tomorrow. Religion never taught me it was wrong to steal. What taught me it was wrong was the result of that action taken by my cousin when we were young. He took some candy and had to live to the consequence of his decision. It doesn't mean we should feel bad about getting caught, but someone has put forth their effort to purchase those goods and in turn is trying to work to sell that good to make a living for his/her family/self. We are all trying to carve our names in the rock we call life so everyone can see we made a difference. How we choose to do that, comes from our own desires from past choices. Religion may tell you one thing, but you must come to the realization of that on your own. Religion telling me something is no different than another individual off the street telling me the same thing. I still must make my own thought process work to come to a conclusion as to what I will choose. Being free from religion enables me to become free in mind, action and consequence. Here is the link to the blog I just mentioned, I found it interesting. 

http://religionfree2011.blogspot.ca/2012/04/idea-for-this-blog-came-from-my-wife.html

As I reflect upon my thoughts, daily, today I focus my thoughts on an amazing woman that chooses to be with me and chooses to be herself. I am very much in love with her, no matter what the obstacle can throw at us. Tonight I will be taking her to her favorite restaurant and then we will be finishing the evening with .....

IN 3D!!!  :) Until next time!